


A Dream To Keep

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1853818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sloth demon in the Tower opts to follow the old adage towards the Warden - If at first you don't succeed, try again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dream To Keep

It had not been easy, but Alistair had, after some time, managed to get free of the sloth demon’s spell. It hadn’t been alone, as his friend and fellow Warden, Aedan, had managed to break him free from the sloth demon’s creation of a life with Goldana, the sister he’d never known but hoped to one day meet. After being rescued, Alistair had found himself... standing around a desolate area, waiting. He knew he was waiting for something, but...

Slowly, the others had begun to appear. Wynne, the senior mage who they’d discovered when they’d entered the Circle, had been first, following by Leliana, then Sten, Morrigan, and then that dog of Aedan’s. But no sign of Aedan himself. 

After too long, Morrigan, who seemed perfectly at ease in this place, let out an irritated sigh. “It has been too long. I can only assume our illustrious leader has fallen prey to this demon’s illusions.” 

“Then we must rescue him!” cried Leliana. 

“Much as I am loathe to admit it, I agree,” Morrigan stated. Alistair’s jaw almost dropped. Morrigan, the ice queen of the Kocari Wilds, agreeing to seek out Aedan? He had to be in another dream. “After all, we need a capable leader, and Alistair... Well, need I say more?” There it was. Now it made sense. 

“How exactly do you suggest we find him?” Wynne asked, her disapproval of the apostate coming across loud and clear as she looked to the dark haired witch.

Morrigan was, naturally, unconcerned with Wynne’s attitude. “He found a method of traversing these dream states. Between the two of us, we should be able to find a way to cross them ourselves. After all, lest you have forgotten due to your life of captivity in the Circle, we do both possess magic. Manipulating the Fade should not be a difficult task for us.” With that, she stalked her way to a small pedestal. “I believe this may be a clue.”

“I remember seeing something like this in my illusion,” Leliana stated brightly, happy to see progress towards rescuing Aedan. It was no secret back at camp that the Chantry sister had an interest in the last of the Couslands, though he’d seemed unaware of those affections. 

Wynne nodded. “Myself as well. I would wager that this is how he traveled between the dream realms. In which case, we should be able to use it as well.”

“Let us make this quick, then,” stated Sten, simply. The qunari certainly wasn’t one for unnecessary sentimentality. The group gathered around the pedestal and placed a hand on its cobblestone features, the dog resting a paw on the platform. 

“Focus on our friend. We’ll be pulled towards him across the dream realm,” Wynne stated. “And remember what happened during our own dream visions. His mind will attempt to rationalize our appearances into his dream.” Alistair remembered how he’d believed Aedan to be at Goldana’s house, how every counter Aedan made, Alistair’s mind brushed off and ignored. Aedan had had to appeal to the Grey Warden’s sense of duty, honor, and responsibility to get him to even question the dream. If Aedan was now in the same situation, it would take much to draw him back to reality. At least there was the lot of them, banding together in an attempt to draw him out. So long as they stayed together, they were likely to have enough to help him break free.

Around them, the sights and sounds and... everything melded together, like a painting with the ink running together. Alistair began to get nauseous. The sight was enough to turn anyone’s stomach, he’d wager, though he wondered if his templar training made it worse for him.

Finally, though, everything around them solidified again. Sort of. There was a flickering between two images, one the barren wasteland of the Fade that they had been traversing through since encountering the sloth demon, the other a castle in the middle of day.

“Interesting,” Morrigan said, raising an eyebrow. “It appears that this demon is able to make a far more convincing illusion when focused on a single individual. Perhaps it is an inexperienced one.”

“Demons of sloth rarely go to such lengths simply for a meal. There must be something about our friend that it is particularly interested in,” Wynne replied.

Although he knew they were talking about important things, Alistair was looking around to their surroundings, trying to place them. “We’re at Castle Highever,” he stated, recognizing the seals and crests on the walls and banners.

“Where he came from. Interesting. It appears this demon has grown more creative,” Morrigan stated. She gripped her staff. “We must be careful. A wrong move will alert the demon that we are here, and it will attempt to... deal with us.” Alistair didn’t need her to expand on what the demon’s method of ‘dealing’ with them might be. 

“True enough. We must stay together. Otherwise we will fall prey to the demon’s hold once more,” Wynne stated. Together, the group moved towards the castle doors. Surprisingly, they opened, revealing an elven servant. 

To Alistair’s surprise, the servant looked to him. “Ser Alistair! We were not expecting you so soon!”

For a moment, Alistair was concerned that Aedan had figured out his secret, his ties to the Therin line, or perhaps that the demon had plucked it from his thoughts. It had known about Goldana, after all, and he hadn’t even discussed her with Aedan, the closest of his companions.

Then Morrigan let out an interested noise, as if she had had a revelation. “It appears Alistair plays a part in this dream of our friend’s. Perhaps it would do us good to play along.” Alistair couldn’t help but feel relieved. His secret remained hidden. Granted, it probably wouldn’t for long, not if they were going to Redcliffe, but the longer he could put it off, the happier he’d be. 

He looked to the elven servant, clearly his throat. “Urhm, right. I was, uh... I found a short cut here.” He figured that was probably a workable solution. As his mind had attempted to rationalize the appearance of Aedan in the dream world, even as his friend was arguing about the fake that it was a false reality, it was probable that Aedan’s dream would attempt to find a way to justify the appearance of the group. 

He was right, as the elven servant simply nodded. “Lord Cousland will be pleased to have you back so swiftly,” she said. She turned, without indicating that Alistair should follow her. He glanced back to the others, as if asking them for a recommendation. 

Aedan’s dog decided to take the decision out of Alistair’s hands. With a happy bark, he went barreling through the halls of the castle.

“He has missed his home very much,” Leliana commented, sounding bemused at the dog’s joy at coming home after months away.

With a typical harrumph, Morrigan had to be a killjoy. “He is but a dog, but even he must know that this is not the real Castle Highever. He likely knows where his master is and has gone to find him. In which case, we need to follow him.” 

Well, when she put it that way... The group gave chase to the war hound, following him through the corridors of Castle Highever. The dog led them to the main hall, where Aedan was speaking with a man a handful of years older, who, while not clearly related to him through any visual clues, had a similar air about him. “That must be his brother, Fergus,” Alistair murmured to the group. He remembered how desperately that Aedan had attempted to find his brother at Ostagar, without success. 

Morrigan was unimpressed, as expected. “Since you are a part of this illusion, I believe it best for you to be the one to speak to him. He will likely retreat further into the dream if we challenge him,” she said, practically pushing Alistair towards Aedan.

Alistair sighed as he was left to do his best to convince Aedan that this dream was just that. That the man he was speaking to, the woman standing beside him, the child play-fighting with a wooden sword against the young man in the armor of a squire, and the elderly-yet-vibrant-looking couple at the end of the hall were just aspects of the demon and were all dead, slain in a vain man’s grab for power. For a moment, he understood why Aedan would prefer to stay here in this dream than return to the Blight. For more than a moment, actually. And he recognized how, given the demon’s attempts to hold on to them previously, he would have to watch as his family died once more. He wished he could spare his friend that pain. 

That was the moment that Aedan noticed him. Although the dream had lightened the normally stoic Warden, his face lit up even more upon seeing him. “Alistair!” he grinned and moved to him. Alistair figured that them being friends in this dream might at least make him open to listening to him.

Then Aedan wrapped him close and pressed his lips to Alistair’s own.

For a long moment, Alistair’s mind was a complete blank. Unless there had been some prank played on him after too many drinks at Ostagar, he had never been kissed before. And now, the man he considered a good friend, possibly the closest he had to a genuine brother (he hadn’t known Cailan enough to truly count him as such), had just... kissed him.

Unaware of the smoking void that currently was Alistair’s mind, Aedan gently released him from the kiss, grinning slightly. “We weren’t expecting you back so soon. Mother will be thrilled.”

“M... Mother...?” Alistair stumbled out, his mind not even attempting to process the kiss, focusing on the more mundane matter.

Aedan just grinned at him. “Well, you’re finally getting around to listening to her. She’s got to be tired of hearing you call her ma’am or Teyrna Eleanor. I have to agree. It’s ridiculous when your own husband is on such formal terms with your mother.”

And there was that head-shattering notion again. “H-husband...?” This is what Aedan dreamed? What he wanted? What he wanted so much that the sloth demon would create a dream of it for him that would hold him? He knew that Aedan had come to be close to him, but that had seemed to just be natural – Aedan’s family had been wiped out, Alistair had been a Warden for only a short time, he was right around the same age... They had struck up a fast friendship. How had Aedan’s feelings turned to this? When had they? So many questions whirled around in Alistair’s head.

He heard a bemused smirk and realized that Morrigan and the others had seen and heard everything. “It appears that there is more affection between the Wardens than I had imagined,” Morrigan commented, sounding bemused. Whatever had tickled her fancy, it irritated Alistair that she was so amused by it. She could at least show some respect.

Her comment, however, seemed to have drawn Aedan’s attention. He looked to the party in confusion. “Alistair? Who are those people?”

“We are your friends, Aedan! Please, you must remember us!” Leliana begged. 

For a moment, recognition appeared on Aedan’s face. Before he could say or do anything about it, though, the doors on the other side of the room opened, revealing a second Alistair, dressed in noble finery. Because they were outside of Aedan’s dream, the others could see the second Alistair’s eyes glowing, a glow that was echoed in the eyes of the images of the Couslands, who were now watching the scene before them in rapt attention.

The new arrival just served to make Aedan more confused. “Alistair-? But... What’s going on?”

The second Alistair pulled Aedan close in a protecting and soothing motion. “They’re maleficar. They ambushed my caravan, left me for dead, just so they could get into Castle Highever and replace you. We must stop them at once!”

Morrigan scoffed, unimpressed. “It appears that this illusion of Alistair is more the fool than he, if such a thing is possible.” Alistair wasn’t sure if that qualified as a compliment or insult. “Were we maleficar, there would be no survivors of any attack we made unless we wished it. We would simply obliterate this entire castle with a thought.”

“Such cavalier comments will not help us, Morrigan,” Wynne chastised.

Morrigan just scoffed again. “So you believe I should treat the illusions created by a demon with respect?” she asked, and Alistair hoped that her blunt statements of how this was all the demon’s handiwork and not reality would get through to Aedan and get him to realize what was going on.

Looking around him, Aedan seemed unsure of what was going on. “I... Alistair...”

Seizing an opportunity, Alistair found his voice. “Aedan, remember where we met?”

“The... the ruins of... Ostagar... Why was I at Ostagar?” 

Aedan’s words caused the illusion of Alistair’s eyes to flash briefly as he shot the real Alistair a look that could melt stone. “It doesn’t matter, love. There was something that needed doing. It’s done now. You and I can have our life together.”

But Alistair focused on the fact that Aedan had recognized Ostagar. “You were at Ostagar because of Duncan. Because he conscripted you into the Grey Wardens.” He paused for a moment, knowing that this would probably be the make or break point. “He conscripted you after Arl Howe attacked Castle Highever and killed your family.”

Alistair could see the conflict running across Aedan’s face. So could the demon. “Alistair...?” Aedan said softly. He pulled away from the demonic aspect, moving closer to Alistair.

The demon snarled as it realized that it had lost its hold on Aedan. “Damn you! Damn you all!” it bellowed. The imposter Alistair tossed Aedan aside and growled, shifting its form to appear as a shade, just as in the other dreams. The other Couslands followed suit. Alistair looked to Aedan, who appeared to be coming out of the demon’s sway. Still, his mabari let out a growl and moved to guard him, and Alistair did the same, even as the others engaged the shades.

When all of the demons were dead, Alistair looked to Aedan, extending a hand to help him up. Looking abashed, Aedan accepted his help. “I... Thanks, Alistair.” He sounded abashed, embarrassed to have had his secrets laid bare.

Alistair hesitated, unsure of what to say. Before he could find the right words, Aedan vanished before his eyes. He heard Morrigan let out a disgusted sound. “This again...?!” Alistair glanced around, seeing the walls of Castle Highever fade around him.

_Where are we going now?_

***

After finishing off the sloth demon, Aedan pushed on, not stopping until the Circle Tower was free of the demons, Aedan personally slaying the mad Enchanter Uldred, or rather the Pride abomination he had become. Once they finished, First Enchanter Irving allowed them to use the Circle’s quarters to sleep in actual beds. Morrigan and Sten chose to sleep out under the stars, Morrigan likely wanting to stay away from the Circle and Sten... well who knew how qunari thought. Leliana had taken a room with Wynne and some of the younger apprentices, trying to tidy it up to keep from giving the apprentices nothing but nightmares simply from looking at the walls. Alistair also imagined that Leliana would be taking some time to try to talk some sense into the poor girl who believed that death was preferable to life with magic. Sometimes, Alistair understood why apostates and maleficarum ran from the Circle. 

But, with the others elsewhere around the Tower, that left only Alistair and Aedan in the apprentice quarters.

The silence between them was deafening. 

Finally, Alistair couldn’t take it anymore. He approached Aedan’s bed and cleared his throat. “So... I think we need to talk. About... what the demon was... tempting you with.”

Aedan winced. “I think I’d rather we didn’t. In fact, if I could, I think I’d sooner just face the archdemon right now. In just my small clothes. And with only a butter knife.”

Somehow, that image was actually amusing to Alistair. And the thought of Aedan in his small clothes was... not exactly unappealing. But he needed to focus. 

“Aedan. I think it’s important. That demon... It showed the rest of us what it thought we wanted. Was... Is that something that you want?”

For a long moment, Aedan was silent, considering what to say. “Alistair... I’ve lost so much. My family, my home, any sense of... belonging. But... from the moment I met you, I felt... I don’t know... kinship.” Although he didn’t say anything to interrupt, Alistair had felt the same. “I don’t know if everything that demon made me feel is what I really want... but I do want... something of that.”

“You... want your family back, to go back to Highever?” Alistair asking, noting that there was a hint of fear creeping into his voice at the thought of Aedan leaving him, leaving the fight, even though he knew that Aedan wouldn’t just leave the fight unfinished.

“If I thought for even a second that it were possible? Yes. In a heartbeat. But I know it’s not.” Then he finally locked his eyes with Alistair. “What I really want is... to have a chance to feel protected and loved... the way that I did when I saw you in that dream.” Unconsciously, he started rubbing the area of his finger where a wedding ring would have fit, where there had been one in the dream, indicating his bond to Alistair. 

Surprising himself, Alistair felt a twinge of disappointment at his statement. “Just... the feeling?”

“No.” Was it Alistair’s imagination, or was Aedan beginning to move closer to him? “The feeling was there, but... It was because of who I was with. Who I trusted with... my heart.” No, definitely not his imagination. Alistair didn’t know what to do, how to react. He’d never been in a position like this before, where someone wanted to be with him, wanted to-

Aedan’s lips being pressed against his own completely shattered his thought process. When the shock wore off, Aedan was starting to pull back, and Alistair could feel the disappointment radiating from him. He didn’t want Aedan to believe that he wasn’t enjoying it, wasn’t considering that there might be the chance for him to return those feelings, to give him that sense of protection and love, so he reached out, placing a hand on Aedan’s arm. Aedan held where his was, and, tentatively, unsure of himself, Alistair began to return the kiss.

Before too long, though, Alistair broke it off, though he leaned his forehead against Aedan’s, a gentle indication that he wasn’t rejecting the other man, merely having to pause for a moment. “I... Aedan... I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Didn’t seem like it,” Aedan countered with a smile.

“I mean I... Aedan, the Chantry didn’t exactly encourage... fraternization among the templars. I’ve... That was the first time I’d ever...”

“So much for licking lampposts in winter,” Aedan said, a comment having all the tact of a verbal reaction, not how he genuinely felt. He gently took Alistair’s hand. “Alistair, I’ve been wanting to do that since Ostagar. If you don’t feel ready for more than that... Well, I have experience waiting.”

Alistair was momentarily confused. He believed in saying what you meant, and sometimes that meant that word play slipped past him. “What do you mean, exactly, Aedan?”

“I want to be with you. If there’s even a chance for it... I’ll wait for you.” He chuckled. “I mean, we are somewhat stuck together until the Blight is over. There’s time for... whatever might come.” 

Alistair couldn’t pin down how he felt towards Aedan, at least not beyond the sense of brotherhood that the two Grey Wardens had been forging over the last several weeks. He understood what Aedan was doing. And he greatly appreciated that. 

“Thank you,” he whispered softly, sliding his free hand up to hold Aedan’s face gently. 

The Blight would test them, no doubt. But Alistair found himself believing that he would make it through, so long as he had Aedan by his side. And when it was over, then they could make it clear to each other just what they would be for each other.

For now, companionship... and perhaps a shared tent... would do.


End file.
